Friday, February 1, 2013

Worldbuilding: Excerpt

Today is the last day of the Worldbuilding Blogfest, with the contest-entering excerpt from my novel showing off my world-building. This is also my Friday Fantasy Scene. Enjoy.

How, you might wonder, had so many devils and demons gotten out of their prisons? Well every prison had a way out, though the way may be complicated and not make a lot of sense. See, Lucifer had bet God that he could corrupt mankind, and God had said he couldn't, and Lucifer had responded 'so prove it.' God opened the doors to Tartarus and said 'just try it.' And so the devils can walk right out of Tartarus, though Gehenna is not a pleasant place to go by any means, so they avoided it, and the place of the dead was effectively sealed against them, so that devils were only allowed to corrupt humans in life. But right next to the angel-guarded door of the place of the dead was a landing pad, and if a devil stood there a few seconds, generally making rude gestures at the angels while they waited, a portal would open for a soul to arrive. And if you hopped at the right moment you could slip through the portal as the soul came through and get out into the mortal world. 
The souls arriving were in no danger from the devils, since only willingly-bound souls were of any use to them. They had only necromancers to fear, and it was up to the humans left alive to protect their bodies from them, a job at which humanity had failed miserably. Which is why the estimated wait time was an estimation instead of a determined wait time. If lots of souls got stolen for necromancy it would go down as those people were temporarily skipped, and if they got free and back into the place of the dead, the wait time would jump up. Of course those who's souls had been judged were immune to being stolen, but practically no necromancer had private access to a mummy, and all other bodies from that time period are fully returned to dust, so that hadn't been much of an issue.

Now demons had to get out through jail-breaks, which they worked hard to do at all times, but always in a way that they get to keep all their Judged slaves to torment (and spawn new demons with) in their pit.

The pack in his pocket jingled, and Evander grimaced. He was going to have to fill out the paperwork to get his devilry kit refilled*. The stupid dog had bitten him in the rear, only to crunch down on the pack. He'd mangled the magnifying glass, the tea light candle, and a good portion of his paper (he'd used the inside-most sheet for his deal with Kalara, which had slight impressions of teeth, but wasn't actually punctured).

To prevent devils from asking for a new kit, or components for the kit, too often, the paperwork to get it was horrendous, just torture to get through. And this would be his third one this month.

Evander walked in the door of Tartarus, which looked an awful lot like an office. He nodded at the receptionist**, who ignored him. He went over to his father's cubicle.

“I see you decided to shape up and do something right, for once,” his father grunted, handing him the report. Evander scanned through it.

“Probationary period? But I made a deal with a mortal. Surely that's worth admittance.”

“Usually it would be, but you screwed up your final test, and all the ones before it, which means normally you would have been kicked to the mortal world for good already, no more chances. Didn't you notice your body hadn't changed? You still have a pathetic, weakling, human body. Be happy we actually provisionally gave you the powers you immediately lent out. And if I were you, I'd get to work securing the rest of your bargain. I can't imagine what devil would want to lend you their aid and get mixed up in your mess.”

“I you wouldn't be willing to--”

“God, no. When I made the deal for that idiot woman's firstborn son, I was expecting a winner. Not such a good guy.” He shot a glare at Evander. “You may be my son, but you've brought a lot of sneers and laughter my way, and I hate being laughed at. I can't wait for you to fail and be banished.”

Evander's father was a very typical devil, with the standard inability to stand mockery to himself due to excessive pride, only loving things when they're convenient or particularly loveable (even he could not resist petting a bunny rabbit if it wasn't in the middle of doing something to nullify its cuteness such as the activity all rabbits engaged in most frequently), being petty in his need to knock those around him down and prove them wrong, even if doing so didn't benefit himself, because he couldn't stand the thought of anyone being more successful than himself, and, of course, his inbred hatred of all demon-kind. Devils and demons had spent a thousand years in war with one another, which ended only a few centuries ago, though the animosity between them had remained. But they had mutually agreed that the war between them was taking away from their war on mankind, and isn't that what was really important?

*Every devil had one, including items such as pens, paper, a magnifying glass (for reading, or writing, super-fine print), a tea light candle, a lighter, chalk, a pocket knife, and a lock pick, all bundled up tightly for easy transportation.

**She was the most homely succubi to ever have been born, so they stuck her at the entrance to Tartarus with a computer that had access to all the records ever kept by devils since they'd upgraded from the paper filing system. Most succubi were assigned to seducing human men into producing more devil children with them, but they figured that'd never happen for her.

I hope you all enjoyed taking a closer peek into my book. What did you like best? What needs improvement?


  1. Um, that devil better watch it, or he'll get a sword up his keester! So, somehow, you made me feel sorry for a devil boy. Good job. I hope he makes his nasty @$$ dad eat crow...or bat...or whatever it is devils have to devour.

    1. Evander's supposed to be a sympathetic character! He's too good to be a devil. "Evander" literally means "good man". And don't worry, his father gets what's coming to him...

  2. Funny, the picture.

    Devils and Demons in NYC -- there's a song in there somewhere. Necromancers, not a word or 'entity' I want to know. Even the name inspires fear!

  3. Interesting interaction between the pair. Quite an @$$ of a parent he has there.

    1. I figured a devil would be...especially if his son turned out to be good. It's like a strict right-winged stickler having a gay son. "No son of mine's good!"

  4. Just finished reading all of your Worldbuilding fest posts, and I have to say that I adored your illustrations! And yeah, Evander's dad is certainly special . . .